on the subject of knitting, my mother loves the swatch for the Sound of Waves wrap by Kieran Foley so i've cast this on.  the rows are 327 stitches long and i'm a slow knitter so a row can take me half an hour.  when i slow my mind down i find knitting long rows relaxing, it's a matter of slowing down inside though.

i've put the idea of an Inspira cowl back on the shelf because i don't have enough of the yarns i want to use to make a full-sized Inspira cowl.  also i'm still sorting out what the winter climate here requires.  i'll need warm things of course but not clothing heavy enough for -30 C weather.  a stranded cowl in worsted weight might only be needed a few days a year here.  so i'm floating a few other cowl ideas around my head.  

the week started with 2 days of suicide intervention training.  important training but not the happiest topic.  by tuesday evening i was tired and discouraged.  when 4:55pm Friday rolled around i was finishing up my session notes and looking forward calling it a week.  then the phone rang and my supervisor asked me to speak with a woman in distress.  i'd never spoken to her before but it was clear she was embarrassed about about calling so late in the day, she was hard to keep on the phone at first, saying she was sorry to be so needy.  i reassured her that a few minutes on the phone was a small inconvenience and that i'd rather talk with her than have her hang up still crying.  besides i find needy women who can use that word and acknowledge their neediness refreshing.

a few more minutes on the phone and it was clear i was speaking with a well-educated and professional woman, a peer or perhaps someone with her life more together than mine.  she was having trouble in with her teenage daughter and she relayed the details of an argument they'd just had.  i listened and when she asked for advice i said simply that i'd have approached the situation the same way she did.  

she sighed and said yes that's the same thing my friends would say.  we talked a bit more and then she said well that was my last 10 minutes before i called you - what was your 10 minutes like before i called? 

without thinking about it i told her i was looking at the time and feeling relieved no one had called the crisis line yet and perhaps i would be able to go home on time.  i think my honesty surprised both of us and we ended up laughing and laughing.  it was good to hear her laughing.

we spoke a bit more about the impossibility of parenting well and staying sanely married and ways to create more harmony in a home and then we laughed some more.  after half an hour she said well you haven't solved any of my problems but you've made me laugh. she thanked me and we wished each other a good weekend and then i drove home - much happier than i'd been at the beginning of the week.  

i think i said this before but Ariel Gore, author of Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness, says when we start writing down what makes us happy we might find the things that make us happy surprise us.  

this photograph was taken on Wednesday morning - my neighbor who works on the waterfront asked me for a ride to work and i grabbed this quickly when i dropped her off.  it's the only photograph i took all week that i like.  i was convinced i didn't have time this week for the film cameras and so i took the digital and was frustrated with most of the digital shots.  if i'm going to take photographs again i need to find time for film.

Comments

[Kathleen]

I'm so glad that call worked out for both of you. Sometimes we just need to talk. And *I* need to start carrying my camera with me more often - there is much to see here in NYC.

[RoseRed]

I'm glad your mum liked the swatch, it will be a gorgeous shawl once done.

Sounds like a great phone call for you both, she is lucky she got the right person on the other end of her phone call!

[donna lee]

I had a similar phone conversation this morning with someone I know rather well who felt bad enough to call a suicide hotline a few weeks ago.

I reminded her that she took the steps to take care of herself and made the call instead of making an attempt to hurt herself and the conversation took off from there. It ended with some gentle laughter and lots of encouragement. It made my entire day (after I have had an individual trying his best to make me feel like a failure all week).

It's all about the connections we make, isn't it? That's why I work in this field. I'll bet you made a huge difference in how she spent the rest of her night. In a positive way.

[Luisa]

lovely post, lovely photos. I enjoy knowing more about your life.

[Jenny Bolza]

I agree!

[kirsten]

i love this post. and the part of 'keeping it real' because we can all spot platitudes that keep things so surface. being honest is far better medicine.
and the best part of your post is how the real connection with someone, even via a phonecall, is spitually sustaining for BOTH of you. love it.

[note, i'm sure there are times your work in incredibly exhausting and i truly admire anyone who manages to work in this area of such huge need]