hanna birke

year end thoughts

No knitting photograph with this post.  Some knitting/creating talk.  Mostly this is a post where I think some year-end thoughts out loud.  Order might be a bit jumbled.

I've been putting things away for the last few months.  It started with waking up a few times feeling like I have too much stuff.  Not clothes.  I've never had tons of clothes but things like books and art supplies.  I've felt a bit overwhelmed by stuff lately so I've been packing things in boxes and thinking about who else could make better use of a few of these things.  

One morning a few weeks ago I woke with the thought - I create too much stuff.  I could see piles of sketch books filled but rarely looked at, old paintings stacked under stairs and against walls.  Even photographs printed and framed and then not used.  Suddenly all this creating which has been automatic and unquestioned seems excessive.

Not that I will stop knitting and other creating - I'd just like an even more thoughtful approach to it.  

I haven't handled a paint brush for three years and this fall I admitted that at best I'm a mediocre painter.  So on Boxing Day I packed my painting supplies and art books up in boxes.  I left out the India Ink and the pencils because I still love drawing and perhaps I have more talent for drawing than painting.  

I also sorted through my books and put all the how-to-write books in their own box.  I feel done with serious writing and soon I'll pass the writing books along to someone.  

 One of the difficulties with knitting and a thoughtful approach is I knit mostly at the end of the day when I don't want to think - I just want to do something relaxing.  If you've read here for a while you'll know if I knit something impractical I just end up mad at myself.  I guess knitting for me needs to be planned in a way that takes into account the competing needs for thoughtful creating and relaxing production. 

At least one project from this year needs revisiting.  That white hat with the Blue Sky Alpaca Suri and Habu cotton is too floppy and shapeless.  I'll take it apart soon and redo it - perhaps with a pattern this time.

The biggest knitting/clothing story for me this year was the move away from black, charcoal and navy and into color.  I feel like a lot of people who make changes though - I went 180 degrees in the other direction and now I think it's time for a more moderate approach.  

At the moment I have three items on the needles and they are white, tan and deeper tan.  These colors feel good - soft and clean.  Even though I've really enjoyed wearing more color and more cheerful, fun clothes this year I must admit some mornings when dressing for work I want to put on something very, very calm.  A navy top and navy cardigan have a funny way of making me feel like I have answers.  People who come to see me want me to know a few things.  

The next story with clothing for me might be shape.  Through looking at fashion blogs I'm seeing I could be a lot more creative with clothing shapes.  And also that some of my favorite shapes are umm ... not so flattering.  Like narrow skirts - I love narrow skirts - but honestly they aren't great on me.  In fact skirts in general don't do much for me.  And I recently cast on for another knit skirt.  Opps that needs a rethink.  

Dresses on the other hand are very good on me and I love wearing dresses.  I could use more dresses.  Knit dresses though have a lot of cling factor.  So I've been thinking about sewing a few dresses.  I even ventured into a fabric store recently to check the patterns - something I haven't done for over a decade.  I saw a cute Anna Sui dress pattern.  Perhaps I will do a bit of sewing in the coming year.

On the topic of sewing I haven't forgotten about the white felt I made this summer.  The plan was to sew a jacket this winter - I've put the idea on hold for now though - had I started that jacket this fall I would have gone with a conservative and boring shape.  Now that I'm rethinking shape I want more time to mull over a shape for that white felt jacket.  

I haven't completely given up on knitting sweaters for myself.  I'm sure I'll knit some more sweaters but possibly different shapes or weights.  Pullovers are just wrong for me.  Cardigans work better - or light simple things with no buttons and that fall half off - like that cotton gima cardi.  I'd like to have a few shrugs.  

To move away from knitting/clothing talk on to general comments about the year even the queen said 2009 was a hard year.  I get more time off than many people I know and I search out more solitude than anyone I know - still the year felt full of pressure.  In trying to identify where this pressure came from I think a lot of it was self created and I'd like to go in to the next year more conscious of letting things be or letting things develop naturally.

Some years feel like the years where I plant a lot of seeds and not much comes up.  Other years it feels like all I do is amend soil and conditions are not even right for planting much.  I hope I planted some good seeds in 2009 - only time will tell.  It's encouraging though to note that 18 years ago I carefully set my intent to improve two specific areas in my life and over the following years I kept working at them as best I could even though I saw little to encourage my efforts.  Suddenly this year I saw huge improvements in both areas.   

Thinking about this today reminded me of the year I went to sweat lodges - once in a sweat lodge the elder talked about how the things that come easy sometimes aren't worth having and how the things worth having take work.  I laugh as I type this - how to reconcile the idea of letting things be or letting things develop naturally with the idea of working hard for the things that are worth having.  I'm not really sure.  Maybe it means continue to be thoughtful and work hard but hold lightly to the idea of outcome.  

Thank you for reading.  May your 2010 get off to a good start.  

drama babe and fashion talk

Spotted this Christian Lacroix felt coat with jet beading, embroidery and fur in the Jan 28.08 #68 issue of Hello Canada magazine and thought I'd share it with you.  It's runway clothing not daily wear but when I saw it I couldn't help but think I might feel more fascinating waltzing out of the house in it instead of my usual jeans, parka and Blundstone boots. 

Okay it's pretty wild but it's also felt without frump. 

On the topic of fashion, the National Post newspaper runs a column most Saturdays where they interview a woman (usually in the fashion industry) about her clothes.  I've been saving them for you and meaning to share some quotes from them.  Here's a quote from Lisa Corbo, co-owner of George C boutique in Toronto.

"I have nothing against Lululemon (workout wear).  Obviously when I go to the gym, I don't work out in a Derek Lam dress.  But after the gym I think it's really important that women wear clothes.  I'm not saying everyone has to dress up, but grooming is really important.  Everyone should work with their personality.  If you don't have a lot of personality, then don't wear an Etro coat. Some women think that if you put on a great outfit, that's all you need.  But it's about the finishing touches.  It's about being polished.  It's about putting on lipstick, brushing your hair, putting on perfume, and going to the hairdresser."

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, particularly the finishing touches and being polished.  I'm pretty slap dash but I want change.  Shopping for perfume is on my list.  I've gone back to an old hairdresser who does a great job and we're working out a strategy.  Last Friday when I was in the city I planned to go to the MAC makeup counter and buy lipstick for the first time in years (as opposed to lip gloss) but then the storm started and I had to hit the highway before the roads got worse.  But MAC lipstick, it's on my list.  I have very little time for shopping these days but I'm thirsting for a more a more feminine feeling.  I guess as a way of holding myself to this I'm mentioning it here. 

Lisa Corbo talks about working with your personality.  I think for some of us it takes time, thought, experiment to understand what kind of clothes work for us and what kind don't.  If I had thought more carefully about the Cotton Gima Cardi I would have realized the shape of it was a mistake for me.  I'm curvy with narrow shoulders and wider hips.  Any garment that's attached at the bust and then opens and widens as it goes down emphasizes all the things I would rather not have emphasized.  Someone else with my shape and a different personality would be able to carry off the shape of the Cotton Gima Cardi but not me.  My personality does better in a top with straight lines or slight waist shaping.  The Wicked sweater is a perfect example of a shape I feel good in.   I'm not being critical of myself here just saying I've learned something through the process of working with this sweater.

It will be after February 25th before I post again.  I'm getting some reprieve from winter by going to California to do more therapy training with my old teacher. 

southern hemisphere love

I thought the big benefit of having southern hemisphere blog friends was that as you're in the depths of winter they're heading off to the beach and it's a great reminder that snow and boots and down jackets eventually go back in the closet for a while.  But I was wrong, I was wrong.  You want all the the southern hemisphere knitting friends you can get because they are *so* generous.  Jane knit me the Log Cabin socks in blue (my favorite color).  I've loved these socks since I first saw them over at Brooklyn Tweed.   I've petted these, photographed them and even have them on right now but I still can't believe Jane would knit these for me.  And that's not all.  She sewed me the most beautiful bag as well (seen in the background) for my knitting.  I love it all.  The socks are done in Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Aran, color 205.  The bag fabric looks very Japanese on the outside and very English on the inside.  Yay Jane!!!

And Jane hon what color bikini I should start knitting for you? 

I've barely knit a stitch in close to three days, feels strange.  I'll work on the cotton gima sweater tonight though and post an update soon.  I've also not provided many knitting inspiration photos here recently.  Fashion magazines continue to enter the house at an alarming rate I've just been slower at getting through them.  This modern fair isle sweater (not handknit) that appeared in the November Nylon magazine caught my eye.  Unfortunately no information is given about the designer.  I think the yoke and bust shaping is quite ingenious.  The photographer is Chika Kobari.

Gotta go out now.  In my new socks!

Juice of Life

Knitting and dyeing update further down the post.

It's been a while since I've written about what we wear but I continue to think about it.  On the weekend I went to Calgary for some city vibe. On a bitterly cold Saturday morning I noticed a woman who was wearing a definitely this season coat in black mohair shot with gold threads, a deep brown scarf with bronze threads, tall black boots and a grey pleated skirt with fine net peaking out from under the hem.  She was also carrying a Louis Vuitton bag. I asked if I could photograph her but she said no.  We walked together for a few blocks though and I asked if she had an interest in fashion.  She said it was a way to make her life more interesting.  She was from China and had lots of friends there so life was interesting, always something happening or something to do, but here she had only family so dressing up was a way to make her day more interesting. 

I hadn't expected this answer but it's what I've been looking for.  Nothing psychoanalytic or status oriented about it.  She dressed for herself, to enrich her life.  If she was someone who was dressing up to be seen she would have let me take her photograph.  Beautiful clothes were for her primarily a way to make life more interesting. 

While in Calgary I went to view some Emily Carr paintings and my favorite was a small one of trees done in 1939 and titled "Juice of Life".  It's different for all of us.  Looking at photographs of Ms. Carr it seems hair, makeup, clothes were not the juice of life for her.  Trees, her pet monkeys, painting and a picnic in the forest with her friends seem more the juice of life for her. 

Natural dyeing feels very 'juice of life' for me.  Letting things soak for days, dyeing and then overdyeing and not totally able to predict what the final color will be. Last week I dyed some khaki colored Habu cotton gima in madder.  It's the deep brick color you see in the photo at the top.  I was thinking of using it for a Setsuko Torii tunic but now that's it's dyed I'm reconsidering.  Seems it would be perfect for a simple lightweight cardi but I have to check the yardage to see if I have enough for this. 

Thank you to those who encouraged me to face my Kitchener fears.  I got out the IK instructions and used them on the thumb.  So far so good, now on the second mitten.  I'll post of a photo of them when they're done.